My Favorite Things

My Favorite Things

March 13, 2006

This post is not about stitching but I hope to have some stitching photos to put up later tonight.

My DH and I have a housemate Mike who has been a friend of mine for over 15 years. He's one of those people who become such good friends that they are more or less family and I consider him the brother I never had. A couple of weeks ago he was diagnosed with testicular cancer like Lance Armstrong and had surgery. Today he starts chemo. He has pretty good chances of beating this and we are trying to stay positive.

I have the new role of full time caregiver because he has nobody else who can do it right now. It has been especially difficult because I work with Mike so I have been doing a lot of explaining and reassuring people there too. It seems like I never get away from everything. Someone at work was telling everyone that he was "done for" and would never be able to return to his job which upset me a lot. It was like they had him dead and burried before he even had his first chemo treatment. I am fully aware of the worst that can happen and I am tired of people who feel the need to respond to my positive outlook as if I am being naive and not considering any other outcome. I wish they knew how hard it is to deal with the difficult subjects like death, wills, last wishes and such and then try to be postitive that he will be a survivor. They don't realize how much we all need them to stay positive because it does so much to keep us going.

I also don't appreciate people who comment, usually behind my back, on the fact that we are not related and that my husband and I are not obligated to care for him. Mike did something for me many years ago that he wasn't obligated to do and this is my chance to return the favor. I don't mean to be selfish but it would be nice if one person at work thought to ask how I was doing instead of only asking about Mike. It would also be nice if his relatives would help him even a tiny bit financially. I think I had better stop here before I go off on an inappropriate rant for a public blog. Anyway to change to a happier subject we are getting a new car tomorrow. We knew we would need a new car sometime in the next year or so but decided to get it sooner with all the daily trips to the hospital rather than put more money into the old one. We are a little worried about the payments but hopefully it will all work out. My family agreed that it was probably the best thing to do and said they had been worried about our old car too so we went ahead and picked out a new to us used car today. Tomorrow maybe I can post a picture of it.


rose_michelle said...

Hang in there Chris, I'm rooting for you. I know how it can be. Since George deployed last week people seem to think that I will fall apart if I am left alone and I have had many phone calls, surprise visitors and even a visit last weekend from parents who are returning this weekend for fear that I may have a 12 hour stretch on time by myself ... it is, in fact, what I have been looking for. just a chance to sit and stitch. I can't even go shopping for care packagge items without someone calling to "check how I am after that stressful event!" When did shopping become stressful!
Don't worry. Poeple will be people. The important thing is for your friend to know that you are there for him!

Shelleen said...

I think it is a great thing that you are doing for your friend. Sometimes friends are closer to us than our own family. Make sure you get some me time as well because you won't do him any good if you get run down and sick.

Juanita - aka flosslady said...

People can be horribly insensitive sometimes. I'm sorry that you're having to deal with that, on top of your friend's illness. It's wonderful that he has you and your husband for support. Who cares whether you are "obligated" or not... you're doing the right thing for your friend. That's the only thing that should matter.

Heather said...

People can be horribly incensitive at times.
You are doing a remarkable job and my thoughts are with you all.